Being told your kid has special needs...

... regardless of the level of their special needs, is the hardest thing I've ever experienced.  Prior to that all the oddities were just quirks, he was his version of normal and would be okay or grow out of it.   Now though...it's like mourning the loss of something intangible.  Mourning the loss of normal.  No, we never really had normal and technically nothing has changed, but it has changed.  These things are not just quirks of his personality.  They are neurological disorders.  Neurological disorders that will last his entire life.  

Could it be worse?  YES, it could be so much worse, but that doesn't take away the feelings of hurt and sadness over the loss of the life you thought this child would have.  The loss of the things you'd get to do with them.  This fact also doesn't make it okay that you now have to do therapy with them every.single.day just so they can have a decent day (which for the record effing sucks and it's okay to think it effing sucks).  

So...my suggestions to people who have a friend going through this.  Don't dismiss their feelings whatever they are.  Don't tell them their kid will be fine.  Don't say things like "Oh, my kid(s) do that too.  It's normal", "But he's just a kid.  I don't see XYZ disorder so he must be fine" or "Boy there's a diagnosis for everything these days". DON'T tell them it could be worse.  WE KNOW.  Just give them an open place to talk, scream, cry, whatever and above all else don't make them feel guilty or wrong for however they are feeling.  They have enough guilt as it is. 

The Friendly Challenge

A friend of mine posted in a mommy group posted a challenge for August saying simply, "whatever movement, whatever goal, do it and let's help keep each other accountable", then another friend in the same group said, "BURPEES!  I'll do burpees."  Now this friend happens to be Kris from In the Kitchen with Audrey whom I ran my half marathon with last year and we happen to have a friendly competitiveness about these kinds of things.  So...while cursing under my breath I said, "Fine...I'll do burpees too".  So everyday in August we agreed to do 20 burpees....or at least 20 for the first week and  25 for the second week.  I'm not sure of the plan after that.

Now might be a good time to say that I hate burpees.  Loath burpees might be a better description, but I am competitive and I honestly probably need to do some burpees.  As I've said before I have the Flat Rock 25k coming up and while it's a trail run there is a fair bit of hands and feet crawling up giant rocks to do on that trail so burpees are probably a good choice for some crosstraining.  Also, since I started running in the mornings again I haven't been doing my strength training after my runs (since the getting the kids moving day starts pretty much as soon as I get back home).  Based on my track record of injuries I'm certain that any amount of strength training is a good idea, so....burpees (Damn you Kris ;)).